Leaving the Board

A repost of what I put on the Board today, but you can comment on it if you want.

Dear 100 Hour Board Writers and Readers,

It’s that time. Time to go.
I’m glad that I was able to be a part of the Board at all. I often felt that I didn’t deserve to write, but didn’t want to leave because of the people. And the parties. Maybe the people at the parties. The whole experience is just so entertaining. I’ll sincerely miss everything having to do with the Board.

So, very The Keeper-esque, I’m going to will some things to my people left behind. In no particular order, of course.

To all writers of the Board: ∞Link. You can use him whenever you’re too lazy to write out an answer that is so well explained on another website.

To all the readers of the Board: My appreciation for your support, and my name: Becca.

To anyone who ever sent me a comment or email: Thanks. You made my day.

To Latro: Bocce ball and a dented picnic table.

To FCSM: King’s Quest 2: Romancing the Stones. A remake you’d like, if you don’t already have it. http://www.agdinteractive.com/KQ2.php

To Duchess: The knowledge that I like you and I think you’re really cool and funny, even though we had all that awkwardness at the beginning.

To Pa Grape: Poker night. But no gambling!

To A. A. Melyngoch: The words “callipygian,” “subdolous,” and “sesquipedalian,” because you like words, and these are some fun ones. They even describe you. At least the last two do. I’m not touching that first one.

To Ambrosia: A Pink Melt, since you already have the Mink Pelt.

To bittermale: The hope of a nice girl.

To Dinomight: Metroid Prime. We’ll drop it off later.

To Phoenix: Chocolate that stays in your braces, not on your front seat.

To the pirates that don’t do anything: Our Wymount couches. They are uncomfortable enough that maybe you’ll want to get up and do something.

To Toasteroven: The song “It’s Not Easy Being Green.” Go read the lyrics.

To Uffish Thought: Monkey Island and an orange, so as to avoid the scurvy.

To Novel Concept: The award for the cleverest pseudonym.

To Xanadu: A big welcome. I’m glad you made it onto the Board.

To Leibniz: My admiration. You seem to be able to do it all, and keep it all together at the same time.

To L’afro: Magnificent hair. Though, in my opinion, you already have it.

To CGNU Grad: A pile of electronics and a golf club.

To The Franchise: My brackets. It’ll be good for a laugh.

To Misaneroth: My respect, the East Coast, and any philosophical questions I’ll have in the future.

To The Mighty Quinn: Totally Ripped Abs cologne, found at your local drug store.

To Katya: The Peacock room and the fun conversations therein and out.

To la bamba: A scope-out of the student ward where we’re moving. We’ll give you the low-down.

To Horatio: A funny article: http://flakmag.com/misc/thatisall.html . And that’s it.

To Fractile: All my computer problems, even though you probably don’t want them. :)

To Beemer Boy: Enough money to buy one. But, ah, check back in like 30 years.

To Hephaestus: A mythology fact. Hephaestus was known as the kindest of gods. It’s an appropriate pseudonym.

To Grabthar’s Hammer: Many more haikus/Inspiration to write them/And the correct amount of syllables.

To Benvolio: I’m not leaving you behind, so you don’t get anything. Besides, you have me. I love you.

See you all on BB.

›Kassidy‹

Random Things About Me You May or May Not Know

Lists are easy, so I'm doing one.

• I once marched in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York City
• My hair is curly (or at least very wavy) when I don't blow dry it
• If uninterrupted, I sleep 10 hours a night naturally
• My favorite cartoon is Dexter's Laboratory
• I've never been out of the country, except for the Bahamas, which barely count
• I get heartburn when I eat too much sugar or spicy stuff, which is frequently
• I read through the "Joy of Cooking" for fun sometimes
• I wear size 10 in women's shoes
• I sucked my thumb until I was 7 years old
• I had to get braces for an underbite (which is rare for thumb-suckers)
• I was born and raised in Alabama, and I still don't have an accent
• I'm a girl and I like video games
  
• I've never had an enemy
• I love my family, but for real. I love hanging out with them
• I like a little bit of humidity
• I'm a redhead, yet I can tan
• I don't like house decorations with a flower pattern
• I saw Nightmare on Elm Street at the age of 5 and have been forever scarred. I can't watch horror movies
• I like to read. I've read a 900 page book in a period of 24 hours
• I used to wear brown shoes with my black pants
• Benvolio was my first kiss, though I didn't plan it that way
  
• I've only had two real boyfriends including Benvolio
• The other guy wouldn't kiss me
• I was too picky with guys, so no wonder I didn't get kissed
• I've tried to read "Jesus the Christ" but I got bored
• My feet are constantly cold
• I have a black cousin
• I hate doing the dishes
• Sometimes my joints hurt unless I pop them
• I have the flu this week
• I usually like people, until someone tells me something bad about them, or they have bad hygiene
• Once I burned the carpet playing with matches and kleenex with lotion when I was 10, but I gave the carpet a "haircut" and no one found out
• I like impressionist art
• I've written a couple songs
• I have a scar on my arm that's 12 years old
• I hate needles, i.e. getting shots
• Once I levelled up my Final Fantasy 7 characters up to level 99
• I hate calling people on the phone
• My grandfather sealed Benvolio and I in the temple
• I am the oldest in my family of four
• I've only bounced one check ever
• I watch Law and Order
• I hardly ever take offense
• I skipped the first grade
  
• I can't think of anything else
  

Finally, Something Good

I haven't blogged in a while. I was waiting for something good or fun to happen, but it never did. Not that my life is a wreck, but I've had little to no positives to keep me going.
The other week I applied for a job, and I got it. It was for giving surveys over the phone. When I had the interview, I thought I could handle it for the little amount of time I have left here. I went to the orientation and realized that I am really not cut out for making people miserable and getting paid for it. Perhaps I am too picky, but I can't spend all day making calls that people don't want. I would come home very unfulfilled everyday. Maybe I'm spoiled. We need the money.
So I've been down about giving up that job, and not having a job in general, and bringing down my husband in the process. Then I get even more down for being down, becaues I really am blessed, and why am I being so hard on myself. I am my own quandary.
Something good happened, though. Kind of. I got my Sony Clie that I got on eBay. But it didn't work when I pressed the on/off button. They shipped it from Canada. Stupid Canadians. Ok, maybe not really, but I will think twice before ordering from another country. It makes things twice as hard. I figured out how to get the thing to work by soft resetting. I have to use the address book button to turn the thing on and wait for it to turn off by itself. I considered returning the thing, but I don't want to have to pay shipping, and other than that stupid button, it works fine.
I've been in a better mood (mostly) since then (Friday). Sorry to anyone that I was snotty to during this past little while. I've forgotten all the good things about myself, and it's hard to be nice to others when you can't even be nice to yourself.
So that's why I haven't been blogging lately. I needed something good.

Lack of Ideas

I can't think of a topic to blog on. Give me some comments, guys. What's something you've wanted me to blog about? Or just ideas in general...

Therapy

What do you do when you're stressed out or just not having a good day? Today is one of those days. I woke up because two guys were sitting outside my window talking and laughing. I guess that wasn't such a bad thing because I got to see Benvolio before he left. Then I work myself up for my task of the day. Today my goal was to go to a Temp Agency and take the office skills test and fill out all the paperwork so they can find me a job. I got all ready and prettified and went out to the car. This part is scary. I have only recently learned to drive stick shift and today was the first day I drove solo, no help. No matter that where I'm going is only 5 minutes away, it's still frightening. Yes, go ahead and laugh. I have trite fears. I still haven't figured out how to just make emotions leave, no matter how silly. So I'm in the car and driving. But you have to see how I'm driving. I have both hands on 10 and 2 on the wheel, sitting straight up, eyes wide open, not because I'm a conscientious driver, but because I'm scared out of my wits. Thankfully I got to the office safely and without incident. Incidents come later.

I walked into the office but no one was in the front. Some lady from the back walks up and asks if she can help me. I say I'm looking for a job, duh. I tell her I need part time hours, but they only have 8-5's right now. I left the office about 45 seconds after I entered. I didn't even have time to psych myself up for the drive home. Deep breaths.

Crap. When I left I had to turn left onto a busy road. I screeched out because I was scared the guy was coming too fast in the oncoming traffic. Then I came to an intersection with a hill. Ahhhh! I can't do hills yet! I don't have sufficient training. Of course the person behind me is a tailgater and pulls as close as possible. I'll bet I freaked her out when I started rolling backwards. The second time I moved forward, but only after probably waking up all the sleeping babies in the area with how much gas pedal I used and screeching I made. I shoulda taken the bus.

I made it home, thoroughly embarrassed after more success at not finding a job and scaring people on the road and making them drive at least 50 feet away from me. I cried a little, because that's what girls do when things go wrong, and sat down and played video games until I felt better, even though that's not what girls do when things go wrong. But that's my therapy when I'm stressed out and not having a good day.

From Singlehood to Double-dom

I've been thinking recently about marriage and how crazy it is. How on earth do you ever trust someone enough to promise yourself to them? How can you ever find someone compatible with you? What makes you think you deserve to be loved that much anyway? What if things go horribly wrong five years down the road? And who is this guy sleeping next to me when I wake up? (Ok, that one's a lie. He's long gone by the time I wake up.)

I remember thinking all those things when I was single. Sometimes I still catch myself thinking those things out of habit, even though I have the answers, or at least the faith to believe the answers. When I was single I didn't think much of myself. I thought I was average, ok to look at (hey, at least I'm not horribly deformed), and smart enough to get by. Now I have this guy telling me I am above and beyond any pinnacle of beauty, intelligence, and everything else. I'm thinking this guy must be out of his mind. Or in love. So is that what love is? Being totally devoted? I think there is at least some truth to that. How on earth did I end up being devoted to someone?

I can remember not being in love, and I remember now, but what happened in between? How did this unlikely miracle occur, this miracle that phenomenally touches most of the human population? All I can say is that God must be with us. It's gotta be love, because sex isn't strong enough to hold something like marriage together.

I met Benvolio in August of 2002. Nothing earth-shaking there. I had known Fractile from the year before, and Benvolio was his new roommate. Fractile thought it would be a great idea to set up Benvolio and my roommate of one year. We'll call her "Missy" because she's cute like that. So our two apartments plan a group date. No pressure. My date was rather flamboyant and tried to sell me to some people playing "Bigger or Better" for a bag of apples. No wonder Benvolio looked better. After the night was over I was sure I didn't ever want to go out with Mr. Apple and I thought Benvolio had a great sense of humor. Not much more than that. Then the crush started.

Who knows where crushes come from? They just appear. At this point in my life, I needed someone to like so I could get over my ex-boyfriend, who happened to not tell me he was dating a girl over the summer, a girl who's kitchen window I could see from my bedroom, and which I could see them cuddling and sitting on each other's laps at any given moment. Ouch. Benvolio was very convenient. Cute, funny, nice, smart, and a 50 foot walk from my backdoor. We went to homecoming together, another fun group date. We were the only ones in our group that weren't dating, or involved somehow. We got along surprisingly well. Talking was easy. We had a lot of the same interests, blah, blah, blah, I know you don't care.

Anyway, life went on, and it was very apparent to everyone around us that we both liked each other and yet we weren't dating. After some awkwardness and some issues, we finally started dating, and then dating exclusively. The more I got to know him, the more normal things became. Nothing was amazing. Nothing was absolutely wonderful. Being around him was more like hanging out with your family (but only if you like your family like I do.) I suppose we had some key components to a good relationship like mutual respect and stuff. I guess the only things you really need for a good relationship is some hot attraction and a great friend. I used to hate the "You should only marry your best friend" crap, but ahhhhh it's true!

So since nothing was going wrong in our relationship, we kept dating. And then came the time when things still didn't go wrong, and there was no where else to go except... marriage. At that time, I didn't think things not going wrong was a good enough reason to get married. I wanted magic and miracles. I didn't get any answers in prayer. In fact, there was a distinct lack of answers. I couldn't tell if that was a stupor of thought or if it was a go ahead and do what you want. I wanted some sort of confirmation that I wasn't ruining my life. So I just did it. And nothing went wrong. And up to this point nothing has gone wrong. And I think that's probably enough of an answer for me.

I was lucky to find someone who thinks the world of me, and even though I'm still pretty sure I don't deserve it, I'll keep it. It's still weird to think about though. If I stop and think about it enough, it's pure craziness. I guess that's my thesis statement of this blog. Marriage and everything leading up to it, it's all craziness. It's a miracle it works. Seriously. But somehow it does, and it's great. Everyone doesn't deserve it, but they need it all the same. So don't be bitter about it if you don't have it yet. It'll be a miracle if you ever do. And if you do have it, think how lucky you are, because it's craziness that it ever happened to you.

The Truth about Air Mattresses

I should be doing laundry (all of my favorite socks are dirty) but I'm putting it off to blog. A worthy deed, I think. This past week Benvolio and I were privileged to sleep on a real mattress. That's right. Our rental bed from management finally came in. It was a momentous occasion. Where were we sleeping before? Thanks to Mynamyn and Dinomight not on the floor. We were sleeping on a double-decker air mattress. A show of hands of how many have slept on an air mattress with someone else. Well, let me tell you what it's like.

Let's say you're getting ready for bed. You sit down on the edge of the bed to take off your shoes and socks. The bed moves 5 inches, and you might not be on it anymore. Bouncy! Then after you're all ready, you climb into bed, but there's no pillow there to lay your head on. Wherever has it gone? Oh, it's fallen off between the wall and the top of the bed when you were trying to take off your shoes and socks. So then you have to get up, get your pillow, rearrange the bed, get back in bed, and sink in. Just about that time your other person gets into bed with you. Something magical happens. You two are so in love that you both slide right towards the middle for some major cuddling. Oh, wait, that's not love, it's the air mattress. Involuntarily cuddling! It's unjust. So you turn down the air so at least you won't get too hot with all this induced body contact and you finally get to sleep... Only to wake up at 5 in the morning because the air has somehow leaked out and your bum is touching the ground!

Ok, so maybe it really wasn't that bad. I guess this is the culmination of all my air mattress experiences. But I'm thankful to Dinomight and Mynamyn. At least my bum wasn't touching the ground all night long because I was sleeping on the floor.